Why did Ryan Zinke block me from following him on Twitter?

Yesterday I tweeted an article to Ryan Zinke’s twitter handle about how the Pentagon says that climate change threatens our national security. This is the only thing I have ever tweeted to Ryan Zinke. His staff promptly banned me from “following” his account.

Geez. I’m just trying to help. Just trying to help him realize the error in his climate change denying ways. Turn him back to the old Ryan Zinke. The old Ryan Zinke used to believe that climate change was an urgent threat and needed to be addressed. It’s not like I’m spamming his feed with pictures of drowning polar bears or anything.

I’m pretty sure I’ve been banned because Zinke and his staff don’t want people to know that the military, not exactly a bastion of liberal ideology, actually recognizes climate change as major threat to national security. For god’s sake, “national security” are Zinke’s favorite words after “Ryan Zinke” and “Seal Team Six.” I thought maybe the article could help him revise his energy plan that currently resembles an eighth grader’s attempt to provide a path to energy independence for a large country. Apologies, that’s an unnecessary jab at eighth graders.  Most of them understand the science of climate change.

To be honest, I’m a little hurt. His staff already banned me from commenting on his Facebook page because I politely mentioned that it was probable that the gas refined from the oil transported by the Keystone XL pipeline would most likely be exported and not contribute to energy independence.

First, banned from his Facebook for one comment and now banned from following him on Twitter. I’m starting to get a complex. I guess I did compare him to Jimmy on Seinfeld, but hell, that was funny. If you can’t laugh at yourself for speaking in the third person, what can you laugh at?

I mean, c’mon Ryan, you and me, we’re cut from the same cloth. Let’s be friends. Look at all the ways we are similar.

I was also born and raised in Montana. So were my grandparents and their parents. That’s like at least 20 generations back, right? That’s America. I played varsity sports in high school. That’s America. Both of my grandfathers were in WWII. My dad’s father even built bridges in France so the United States military could liberate the country from the Nazis. Boom. That’s America. My father was the youngest tireman in Montana’s history (I mean, that’s not in the record books or anything but show me another person working at a tire store at the age of 12). That’s America. I shoot animals and eat them. That’s America. Sometimes I stand in the dark and have someone shine a light slowly over me as I listen to purposeful music and say words. That’s America. Sometimes I wear a cowboy hat in the winter and walk through snow and look off into the distance towards something important even though I’m not a cowboy and I don’t have any cows. That’s America. (Maybe you have some cows? I actually raise goats. It’s sort of embarrassing to tell real ranchers that so sometimes I pretend my goats are cows). America, fuck yeah. **

Let’s be honest Ryan, you and me, we have a ton in common. We shouldn’t fight. We should be friends. And friends are honest with each other, they don’t get mad and start banning people from their Facebook page and Twitter feed.

You hurt my feelings, you really did.

** If you are confused by this paragraph, please take a moment and watch this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAXnLq6bjiE) and then re-read it.